Monday, April 26, 2010

Return of the Blogger (Good or bad thing?)

So, yeah... It's been awhile since my last post... 3 months to the day, (91 days).

ALOT has happened in that time. I could probably write a handful of blogs explaining each and everything that has happened... but I don't want to bore you.

I guess you could say I met someone, whom I fell in love with... I found my faith. I'm not going to say I'm religious or anything, I don't believe in the institution of man at all. But I did find God.

Well, He found me... in a very powerful way.

On the whole it has been the single most important invent in my life... I've changed as a person dramatically... I'm even taller and more muscley! =p lol.

I guess I have been expecting Him to change some other things too. Some of the people I've met were probably waiting for him to "straighten" me up too. I haven't been really thinking much about guys at all, but in the same way, I haven't been thinking about girls either. I'm definitely not straight. I'm just... nothing. It's hard to explain.

But recently... I guess my heart has realized it's still there. And I've been longing for arms around me, and a soft, warm breath on my neck. I haven't been held in months, no arms of longing have been wrapped around me. And I've once again started to feel lonely... but this time it's a different loneliness.

Because now I have my faith (which is unwavering!) but I have nobody (noone physically here) that can understand how I feel. I'm in Love with God, but apart from that, I have nothing. I'm not looking at women, and wanting to get married and live the "christian lifestyle". I'm not looking at women and longing to be with one.

But I am longing for a hand to hold mine, some arms to envelop me, and a voice whispering in my ear... "It will be ok, because I love you". I read a quote today that really made me smile... "I love you because... to understand our love, they would have to turn the world upside down."

I know God loves me... I know that is sufficient. But... but.

Well apart from that, some other HUGE things that happened in these past 91days:
1. My younger sister gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, her name is Issabella and as of today she is 2weeks and 1day old.
2. I turned down the job in Qatar.
3. I completed my first piece of artwork since last year.
4. I've started to sing. (Much to the pain of many ears!)

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